The first time I invited over Tegan, a woman I’d been going steady with for a month, I messed up royally. Like, real bad, how did I earn a second date with this chick to begin, how much worse can it get?
I made coffee and that turned out well enough, if you like it dark and bitter enough to burn some brain cells. But I set the six egg omelet on fire. The hash browns were toasted into a thin crunchy layer of blackened flakes. I hadn’t realized what I forgot at the grocery until I found out I was out of bacon.
She was the kind of girl who might’ve starred in one of my many lesbian pornos—tall, curly blond hair, tanned legs with lean muscles. Never thought a girl like me could get close to a girl like her. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Dessert First”
Not everybody saw Heidi. Then again, not everybody shared their coffee and the latest gossip with Herschdale’s resident ghost.
A flirty coworker, no problem. But a flirty ghost from the 1980s, another problem entirely.
And after two Christmas seasons, Chad knows how to solve this problem.
*** Continue reading “Humpday Story: The Temptress Ghost of Retail Past”
Author’s Note: Yeah, it’s a Christmas story. What happened is I’m clearing out files from my iPhone, and there was a period of time when I wrote quickie confessional stories on the phone. Too bad I didn’t find these things on April Fool’s. So I’ll be posting my phone stories over the next five weeks or so.
I hate office holiday parties. Not so much that I hate people, just that I hate going to parties where everybody can drink except me. One of the many prices of being a recovering alcoholic. All the happy, carefree idiots getting hammered on the loneliest night of the year—Christmas.
But this last year, I had to go. Boss’s choice. Otherwise he was going to make me file stock reports during my vacation.
So I sucked it up, wore my best blue pinstriped suit and a grey argyle tie like a piece of armor, and went to the party. I was only going to stay for half an hour, that was the deal.
Until I saw her. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Blackout in a Good Way”
Dawn Copperpot comes out to the creek by the Sunset Corral for only one reason. Well, two—to be by herself, and to masturbate.
After a long morning of mucking out stables, Dawn needs the me-time. Armed with a shotgun, a couple of sex toys, and her imagination; she waits for the sunrise to have the perfect orgasm. But her imagination leads her to the memory of Nate Ramsey, the one who got away.
Until a nearby twig snaps.
If you enjoy sweet, contemporary Western-inspired erotica, be sure to read Dawn at the Sunset Corral. Continue reading “Humpday Story: Dawn at the Sunset Corral”
The local cheap-seats theater always smelled of burnt popcorn and spilled soda. Not even sure why I took Nikki to a show there. Well, I do know why.
She’s ten years younger than me, just out of college and still wet behind the ears. And always horny. Her hair color changes with the season, but most of the time it’s shades of purple.
On movie night, I took her to see Zombie Pirates of Vancouver. We expected the show to be terrible, and weren’t disappointed. Halfway through, right when the main hero started chainsawing his way through the hordes, Nikki put aside her soda and touched my thigh. Her fingernails scratched through the denim, tickling my skin.
“This movie is terrible,” she said. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Midnight Show”
Adam knew exactly what hit him. A cardboard box full of metal hardware—wall brackets, t-stand arms, and pegs for hurdle fixtures. The dumb box weighed a hundred pounds. And it fell on top of his head.
One thing to die at work, another to die in an elevator while listening to Christmas music.
A sexy encounter from beyond the grave at a department store. If you enjoy strange fantasy erotica, be sure to read Death of a Retail Associate. Continue reading “Humpday Story: Death of a Retail Associate”
For three months, I had the hots for the girl in the apartment above mine. I lived in a studio apartment, one room and barely big enough for a queen size bed and a desk that was used both for meals and work. When I washed dishes in the evening, I often got the pleasure of watching her walk out of the building and to her car.
She always wore skimpy booty shorts and a tank top, baring her long legs and tanned skin. She had a sway to her hips, like she knew somebody was watching, no matter how small a chance. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Neighbor With Benefits”
Quick thank you to folks who downloaded and are reading books on Smashwords. So many of us are stuck at home. Hope everyone finds good books to read.
Also wanted to say that I’m restarting the free weekly short stories that I used to do on this website. Both the Sunday Quickie and the Humpday stories. The Sunday ones are flash sized, and on Wednesday are regular length short stories. That begins tomorrow.
I’ll mostly focus on newer ones that either haven’t been published or are heading towards publication, at least for awhile. But if anyone has an old favorite, feel free to request it in the comments.
I’m writing this from my home office in Minnesota. For the last few days I’ve stayed home on paid leave from the day job and focused mostly on learning, reading, and long afternoon naps. So far I’ve been lucky not to get sick with the coronavirus, or to know anybody who has it. But the world-wide effects of the pandemic are very real. The world has changed over the last few months and there’s probably no going back to the old normal.
Smashwords put together a wonderful sale for readers, Authors Give Back, which goes through April 20, 2020. Everything from the Hermit Muse Publishing catalog is included in this sale.
Erotic short stories are 30% off.
Erotic collections and short novels are 60% off.
All six issues of Siren’s Garter are FREE.
And everything that exists under my D. Anthony Brown pen-name is 60% off.
You can find the Hermit Muse catalog on Smashwords here. Stay safe. Find things to do, like read fun books. We’ll get through this somehow.
No humpday story today. Yesterday was supposed to be publishing day. Then today.
Instead, my friend Walter died this morning. Continue reading “Loving memory”