Humpday Story: The Temptress Ghost of Retail Past


Not everybody saw Heidi. Then again, not everybody shared their coffee and the latest gossip with Herschdale’s resident ghost. 

A flirty coworker, no problem. But a flirty ghost from the 1980s, another problem entirely.

And after two Christmas seasons, Chad knows how to solve this problem.



“Fifty percent off?” said Heidi. “How does the story turn a profit these days? Whatever year it is now…”

In the dim luggage stockroom lights, she almost seemed real. Well, she was real, to Chad at least. Not everybody saw her. Then again, not everybody shared their coffee and the latest gossip with Herschdale’s resident ghost. 

She had big frizzy blond hair with lots of curls, which she tried taming by pulling it back into a bun. Locks of hair constantly fell out despite her best efforts. But at least she kept up with the latest fashions. Not hard to do when you haunted a department store. Tonight, Heidi wore a purple cold-shoulder top with black form fitting jeans that accented her hips. A thick black leather belt with a flashy gold buckle drew attention to her waist. 

Chad spent much of his evening shifts in various stockrooms. He didn’t mind. He went from department to department, putting out new merchandise, ticketing mark-downs when necessary, and organizing things. He did it partly to get away from customers, partly to spend time with Heidi. 

Every time he worked, she followed him around to each stockroom, always with a helpful smile on her face and an opinion about the latest fashions and trends. 

She liked how tights were coming back in style, but missed the stirrup tights. The store had stayed very much the same, according to Heidi, and changed a little every holiday season. Sale prices were so much better, but what was corporate thinking laying people off every year? 

He enjoyed her company. How she whisked in and out of the walls as if she knew exactly where to find him. The throaty laugh she had whenever he told a raunchy joke. The way she looked at him. 

Truth was, Chad fell in love with her. 

He preferred falling in love with a coworker. At least in that case, he’d know what to do. He could hide his feelings until the time was right to move on to another job. 

But with Heidi, it was different. What did somebody do when falling in love with a ghost? 

After two Christmas seasons and surviving two rounds of annual lay-offs, Chad wanted out from the store. But he wanted to stay for Heidi. And he had no damn idea what to do. 

“In my day,” said Heidi, “sales were ten percent off the entire store. And fifty percent deals were reserved for the real big shopping days, like Black Friday.”

Chad smiled. He’d heard this a thousand times. He knew the lines by heart. Shoppers lined up for deals that would hardly draw in anybody these days. Coupons were much more rare. And Herschdale’s had much more high class merchandise. You came to Herschdale’s for pleasure and shopped for fun. 

“What I want to know,” Chad said. “Why are all the customers so angry these days?” 

“I don’t know, honey,” she said. Heidi called him honey a lot. The endearment had annoyed him at first. Not so much anymore. “People seem to be in such a damn rush.” 

“You got that right, baby,” Chad said. 

He used the hand-held to scan a five-piece Samsonite luggage set. Not on sale, unlike every other Samsonite. Chad had no idea what to do with it. Leaving it in the stockroom was almost not an option, given how the room was already stuffed to the ceiling, and he couldn’t leave it where it was blocking the door. 

Heidi stood behind him, sipping her ghostly coffee. He could almost smell the French vanilla on her breath. When she grabbed his coffee cup, a ghostly version appeared in her hand, which apparently tasted like coffee for her. And it smelled the same, even if ever so much fainter. Then again, it might’ve been coming from his own, real world, coffee. 

And then again, he could almost feel the tip of her breast on his arm. 

He wanted to feel it. Even just a light brushing would’ve been satisfying. Sort of. Damn Heidi, for dying and not having a body for Chad to touch. 

He half turned to find her smiling up at him. She brushed back her frizzy hair. Heidi hated the fact that she couldn’t change her hairstyle. Everything else–her clothes, her shoes, the foods and drinks she consumed–she could change. But her hair remained the one constant since her death. 

Chad loved her hair. No other woman had hair quite like Heidi. Not only did he fantasize about touching her breasts, he wanted to run his fingers through her magnificent mane. 

“What?” she said. 

“Nothing.” He turned away from her, shoving the five-piece deeper into the depths of the luggage stockroom. He’d make it fit somewhere until it went on sale with the rest of its friends. He was good at that. Probably why he hadn’t been laid off yet. 

Heidi bit her lip, the way she did whenever she was thinking something. Chad found it exciting and a bit scary. He wanted to know what was on her mind, but then he didn’t want to know everything. Leave something a mystery. 

A mystery, like what her breasts feel like. 

She glanced her eyes up and down his body. 

“Come on, honey,” she raised her chin up. “Follow me.” 

“Sure thing baby,” he said, tossing the hand-held scanner aside and following her around the corner. The luggage stockroom was a funny L-shape. She led him down the side that connected to another storage area, where glass and plastic shelves were kept along with frames for tower fixtures. 

This part of the store smelled musty and had signs of water damage. The lights were a lot dimmer, the corners dark enough to hide a few decades worth of random retail crap–posters, broken t-stands, metal pegs. He avoided this room as much as possible. 

Heidi pointed at a pile of glass shelves that blocked a door. “Move these out of the way, will you?”

Chad shrugged. Seemed like a waste of time, but he trusted her and whatever she had in mind. Not like he wanted to do the luggage stock anyway. 

“Okay, but the boss lady will wonder where I am,” he said. 

“Sure, after she’s done giving the boss man head,” Heidi said. She smirked. “Yeah, the rumors are true. I’ve caught them in the act.” 

“Actually…” Chad shut his mouth. He hadn’t heard any of those rumors. But Heidi didn’t need to know that. “Actually, I always wondered what was behind this door.” 

“Oh, you’ll like it,” she said. 

He picked up the first shelf and moved it aside. “Oh? Give me a hint on what’s in there?” 

“I can’t. You might not want to go in if I told you.”

“Come on, you know I’d do anything for you,” Chad said. He got the next shelf. This was going to take awhile. 

“You would?” 

“Well, within reason.” 

“I’d never ask you something unreasonable. I like you the way you are, flesh and blood and cute as hell.” 

“Thank you,” he winked at her when he picked up the next shelf. Chad worked steadily for a good five minutes, working up a sweat moving the heavy shelf about. 

And then the last shelf was moved aside. Sweat dripped down his back and armpits. The door stood before him, closed as always, white paint chipped away and the frame nearly rotten. It didn’t even have a door handle anymore. 

“Well, go on,” Heidi said. “Open it.” 

She stood behind him, the tip of her ghostly breast poking him in the arm. Tingles and shivers ran up and down his skin. The sensation of a woman’s breast was real, very real. But his brain kept reminding him that she was a ghost, not physical. He couldn’t turn around and grab her. As much as he wanted to…

He pushed the door open. Darkness lay beyond. It took his eyes a moment to adjust from the dim light to the darker light. And then he saw shapes within. 

Chad reached tentatively around the corner, feeling for a lightswitch. Goosebumps crawled on his arms and legs. He couldn’t help but imagine feeling a spider along the wall. 

“A little higher up,” Heidi said. “There you go.”

He found the switch. Nothing happened. The lights must’ve blown out long ago. 

“Huh, crap,” he said. 

“Shoot,” she said. “Well, maybe the cash wrap has a flashlight.” 

He chuckled. Heidi struggled with modern technology. Guess he didn’t blame her. The internet barely existed when she was alive, never mind cell phones. 

He fished his phone out of his pocket, and turned on the flashlight. The bright light illuminated a fairly small room cluttered with stuff. On one side was a desk and office chair. Filing cabinets lined one wall. Random junk littered the room–sign holders, card-stock signs, metal hardware for fixtures. The walls were decorated with harvest gold wallpaper. The carpet was shaggy and green. 

Like a 1970s retail office frozen in time. 

“Was this yours?” he said. 

“Yup,” Heidi touched him on the shoulders, massaging his muscles until he sighed and relaxed a little. “I spent a lot of time in here. Which is probably why I’m stuck here. Sort of like Marley’s ghost, I guess.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I get to meet young studs like you.”


“And continue doing what I loved doing in life.”

He turned around. The flashlight from his cell phone shone right through her, making a spotlight on the opposite wall.

“Being around the latest fashions?”

“No silly,” she slapped him on the chest. “Fucking young studs like you in my office.” 


Chad took a step backwards. Away from her. His brain needed a moment to catch up to what she said. Not that he didn’t comprehend the words. More like he didn’t know what to do with them. 

But his brain had another puzzle to unravel. 

The office felt a little bigger. And brighter. The junk was gone, as if by magic. The ceiling lights worked now. The wallpaper seemed fresher and more vibrant. The carpet smelled like it’d just been cleaned and vacuumed. 

Heidi stood before him, still dressed in her twenty-first century clothes. Otherwise, it felt like being taken back in time. 

“Are the dust bunnies finally giving me hallucinations?” he said. “Or am I…”

Heidi spread her arms out wide as if to embrace the entire room. “Just relax. You’re still here in the real world. Think of this as ghost magic, of sorts.”

Chad touched one of the chairs in the room. It felt real enough and solid. Cushy and soft with itchy orange fabric like something that might’ve been popular in the early 1980s. He wiped his hand on the seat. No dirt. So he sat down. 

“Comfortable,” he said. 

She sat down on the edge of the desk, facing him but quarter turned away. “Not quite like it used to be when I was a manager here in the 80s. But close enough.”

“Why don’t you get it exact?” 

“Even time changes us ghosts,” said Heidi. “We don’t really grow old anymore. But those of us who persist in our living eras tend to become world weary.” 

Chad sat back in silence for a moment. He couldn’t imagine what that would be like–to live in a world you didn’t fully belong to. Except he did know about that. 

“Sounds like being the outcast in high school all over again,” he said. 

“It’s very much like that,” she said. “I hope you don’t go through this.” 

“But I’ll die one day, too. Everybody does.” 

“Not everybody becomes a ghost,” she said. “Some people pass on. They go somewhere else. Or maybe they’re just truly gone forever. Even a ghost like me doesn’t know what happens to them. And then there’s folks like me, who haunt the places that were dear to us in life.” 

“Ever thought about leaving the store?” The way he said that made it sound like he was asking if she thought about quitting her job. They shared a chuckle, as if she knew the joke inside his head. For all he knew, she could read his mind. 

“I have,” Heidi said. “But I still love this place, even though it’s not what it was. Maybe when they close the store, I’ll move on.” 

“Won’t be the same without the people,” he said. “By that I mostly mean coworkers. Don’t think I’d miss the job, but I’d miss the characters I work with.” 

“Ha, yeah I know what you mean,” she said. “I miss the customers though. There were always the bad customers, but people were better back then I think.” 

He nodded. Or maybe, Heidi was just better at people than he was, but he wasn’t sure how to say that to her. Even the way she talked to him seemed a little magical, with the way she could get him to just open up and let words flow out of his mouth. Most days, he didn’t realize how talkative he could be until he came to work and saw Heidi. 

But there was one thing he wanted to ask her, for which there were no proper words. At least no words that sounded right in his head. 

So he just decided to blurt some words out and hope she understood. 

“What do you mean by fucking young studs?” he said. He couldn’t even say it with a straight face. A blush threatened to burn his face away. 

She smiled. “I’d certainly be fired for it now days. Hell, I should’ve been fired even in my time.” 

“You had sex on the job?” Chad said. 

“On the job. After hours. With multiple guys. A couple of the girls too.” Heidi touched her hair and looked down at her knees. “All kinds of naughty things happened in this little room buried inside the store.” 

“I suppose you miss your coworkers too.”

“More than you could know, young man,” she said. Heidi leaned forward and touched him on the shoulder. “I’ll miss you, too. When we part ways.”

“Don’t talk like that,” he said. “When I quit this job, I’ll come back and visit.”

“Will you?” she lifted an eyebrow, darting her eyes to his lap. “Or is that the rocket in your pocket talking?”

Chad glanced down. Sure enough, he was getting hard with her just touching him. 

But then… How was she doing that…

He reached out to her. Touched her on the knee. She felt solid, real. Her tights were smooth, the muscles underneath firm and warm. He wanted to touch more, but wasn’t sure what the next move should be. Her breast? Her hair? So many pieces of her he’d thought about and longed for over the years he’d known her. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered. 

Chad stood up, touching both her knees. Face to face with her, her breath warm and smelling of peppermint, Chad massaged up her thighs to her hips. He found her waist, her legs wrapped around his, and he brought her close to his mouth. 

And then kissed her. 

He hadn’t known what to expect. But she was just like kissing any other girl. Soft, moist, almost fragile in his arms. He didn’t want the moment to end. He imagined being like a ghost too, and sort of existing in the moment of kissing her for eternity, haunting her lips and her body only because he loved her so much. 

Kissing a ghost… Chad knew he was going crazy. And he welcomed the feeling. 

More brave, he let his hands wander up her body. Across her ribs. Massaged her back. He loved how the tips of her breasts barely touched him. And then his hands found her tits, and he couldn’t let go. They felt exactly how he imagined them in his fantasies about Heidi. Soft, exactly two handfuls, and so very exciting to finally hold. 

She broke the kiss. Heidi held him head in both hands, a warm smile on her face. 

“More ghost magic?” he said. 

“You can say that,” she said. “I assure you, what you’re feeling is real.”

“Then I don’t want this feeling to end.” 

“So enjoy it while it lasts,” Heidi said. “And make it last as long as you can.”

“I don’t know if I can last very long,” said Chad. 

She held him closer, and whispered in his ear. “A young stud like you, you’ll figure it out.”

A tingle of raw nerves lit up his body. He knew he wasn’t returning to his job duties any time soon. He just hoped nobody walked in at the wrong time. What would they even see? Chad dry-humping an old desk? In that case, might as well give the unlucky person who walked in a good show.

He lifted Heidi up a little, settling her on the desk best he could. He helped her lay back. Luckily he found a decorative pillow nearby, and he placed it behind her head. 

And then Chad got down on his knees. She helped him take her tights off and then spread her legs wide open for him. 

He pulled aside her panties, revealing a beautiful blond pussy. He ate her, fingering her clit and G-spot, pressing his lips against her, kissing her moist slit. 

Time seemed to slow down. He lost track of time anyway. Probably time to go back to work, but that didn’t really matter to him. 

He had the woman he loved in front of him, half naked and real as solid, warm flesh could be. 

Her wet pussy smelled like a real pussy. The way Heidi moaned and gripped the edge of the desk in desperation were equally real. He brought her to orgasm once, then again, both times either real or incredibly great acting jobs. 

Chad made eye contact with her. “I want to be inside you,” he said. 

Heidi pointed her finger at him, and then curled it in a come hither motion. 

He stood up, loosened his belt…

And then froze up with his finger on his zipper. 


“What’s the matter baby?” Heidi sat up on the desk. Her eyebrows knitted together, she frowned in concern. 

Chad found the expression cute. She touched him on the chest lightly, and massaged him gently. 

“I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve just thought of this for so long. Didn’t even know it was possible.”

“Are you worried what I might think?” she said with a quick glance down at his pants. 

“Yeah, I guess,” he said. “Not sure why. I mean, you’re dead.”

“Does me being dead make it too creepy for you?”

He touched her on the face. “Maybe that’s what I’m really worried about.”

She grabbed hold of his hand and held it on her face. “My physical body, the one I was born with, is dead and ashes now. This body, here and now, is very much alive.”

“How is that possible?” Chad said. 

“Truth is, I don’t really know.” Heidi bit her bottom lip. “I may be a ghost, but you’re not with a dead person. If I were dead, how would I have emotions for you?”

“Good question.” He wasn’t entirely convinced yet. 

“Think of it this way,” she said. “The afterlife is just another type of life. For the most part, I live in an alternate dimension, where most people can’t see me or get to me. But you have a special connection to me.”

“That allows me to hold you?”

“Yes, exactly.” Heidi kissed him on the lips, tasting her own juices on his mouth. His cock raised to attention at that thought. Then she said, “Do what feels right for you. We’ll be friends no matter what you choose.”

“Thank you.” He kissed her back. How could he say no to her? 

After all, she was still a person. A woman who needed love just like any other. 

He needed the love too, come to think of it. 

Chad cupped the back of her neck, held her, staring into her eyes, breathing in her scent. She felt alive enough. Hot blooded with a warm smile and a glint in her eyes. 

He kissed her. Probing her mouth with his tongue, Chad felt his own blood warming fast. She tugged on his belt buckle. With some fumbling about, he helped her undo his pants. And then his shirt needed to come off. For good measure he took off shoes and socks. Standing in front of Heidi in only his briefs, he felt a little strange. So he took his underwear off too. 

By the crazy evil eye expression she gave him, Heidi seemed to like what she saw. He spread her legs apart, stroked his cock a couple times, and was ready for action. 

And then she patted him on the chest. 

“Wait,” she said. “You did such a good job working me up, I think I should return the favor.”

“You don’t have to,” he said, and instantly regretted being a dumbass. 

Heidi laughed at him, and he joined her. 

“You’re much too nice,” she hopped off the desk and patted the place where she’d sat. “Be a good boy for me.”

He sat down on the desk and spread his legs open. She squatted down on her haunches. And then she went down on him. 

Except that’s not quite accurate. She brushed her lips down his shaft, slowly, savoring every inch of him until she came to his balls, which she licked with the tip of her tongue. And then she licked back up to the tip. A gentle flick of her tongue. A scrape from her teeth as she swallowed him. And then she looked up at him.

Chad swore she had the most beautiful blue eyes. They seemed even more lustrous while she was blowing him, if that were possible.

Hell, he was having sexy fun with a ghost who’d haunted the department store for a few decades. After tonight, Chad supposed damn near anything was possible. 

She pressed her fingers into his perineum, intensifying the sensation for him. He’d never had any woman suck him this good. 

And bring him this close to blowing his load during foreplay. 

“Heidi, sweetheart,” he said. His voice sounded raspy to his own ears. 

She let go of his cock and balls, which were delightfully wet with her saliva and his precum. 

“You okay?” she said. 

“Just afraid I’m about to lose it,” he said. 

“Uh oh.” Heidi stood up, raking her nails across his skin. She gave him a dirty look. He looked back at her. Nothing more needed to be said between them. 

Chad took her by the elbows and turned her around so she leaned against the desk facing forward. Her ass stuck delightfully up in the air, inviting him to play with her. He stroked his cock once, made sure it was hard and ready, and then teased her with the tip. She raised her butt a little higher, begging him for more. 

And then he slid in all the way, balls deep. And did nothing for a little bit. Heidi wiggled her hips. Her curly hair was a mess. A sheen of sweat glistened her body. She clutched the pillow as if holding on for life, her arm muscles flexing and tightening. 

Chad took hold of her hips, digging his fingers into her flesh. He rotated his hips back at her, teasing and playful. She muttered and mumbled incoherently. The most he understood was “fuck me” and “please.”

So he did exactly that. Fucked her, but so slowly. A little bit at a time. A bit faster. Then slower again. 

In the back of his brain, somewhere underneath the fog of arousal, Chad thought about his job. Perhaps his coworkers wondered what the fuck (literally) he was doing. Perhaps the store was already closed, and he was locked in here for the rest of the night with Heidi. 

That wouldn’t be an all bad thing come to think about it. 

The idea of being with her all night excited him even more. He struggled to keep his pace slow enough where he wouldn’t pop his load. His focus narrowed to only her. He no longer even saw the office. The periphery was only a white blur. Hazy and ghostly. 

More ghostly than the ghost underneath him. 

She was the sexiest woman he’d ever been with. He doubted there’d be any other that could compete with her. 

Chad let go of the last shred of inhibition. He busted his nuts against her. Faster… Harder… 

Heidi screamed out in orgasm once. Hot juice flowed down his cock. Then again. She quivered on the desk, struggling against him. A third orgasm in a row. 

And then Chad erupted. 

His orgasm seemed to start in his toes and then flooded his body with warmth. The pit of his stomach teetered on edge. His heart raced. His skin prickled with heat. He felt it in his prostate and his balls. And he felt it blow out of him, string after string, into her, never seeming to end. 

And then it did end. 

Pulling out of her was painful and wet. Chad collapsed on top of her, one sweaty mess piled on another sweaty mess. 

“Thank you,” he said. His muddled brain couldn’t think of anything else to say, so he repeated his thanks. His throat hurt with thirst. He’d have to take a long drink from the water fountain before being able to do anything else productive tonight. 

“No,” Heidi said, eyes half closed. “Thank you, my lover.”

He smiled. He could’ve slept, leaning against her and the desk. But he knew better, and pushed himself upright. 

“How can I ever thank you enough?” he said. “That was the most intense I’ve ever had.”

Heidi straightened herself out. She ran her fingers through her hair, tossing the curls out. 

“You can thank me,” she pressed a finger to his chest, “by giving a repeat performance.” 

He took her by the hand, kissing her knuckles. “My pleasure,” he said. 

Copyright © xxxx Hermit Muse Publishing

Cover image © inarik/BigStockPhoto

Thank you for reading! If you would like to purchase this story, you can find it at your favorite retailer. [INSERT LINK] Or feel free to leave a tip with the PayPal button below.

Author: David Anthony Brown

Indie writer and publisher. Among other jack-of-all-trade skills...

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