Sunday Quickie: Blackout in a Good Way

Author’s Note: Yeah, it’s a Christmas story. What happened is I’m clearing out files from my iPhone, and there was a period of time when I wrote quickie confessional stories on the phone. Too bad I didn’t find these things on April Fool’s. So I’ll be posting my phone stories over the next five weeks or so.

I hate office holiday parties. Not so much that I hate people, just that I hate going to parties where everybody can drink except me. One of the many prices of being a recovering alcoholic. All the happy, carefree idiots getting hammered on the loneliest night of the year—Christmas.

But this last year, I had to go. Boss’s choice. Otherwise he was going to make me file stock reports during my vacation.

So I sucked it up, wore my best blue pinstriped suit and a grey argyle tie like a piece of armor, and went to the party. I was only going to stay for half an hour, that was the deal. 

Until I saw her. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Blackout in a Good Way”

Sunday Quickie: Midnight Show

The local cheap-seats theater always smelled of burnt popcorn and spilled soda. Not even sure why I took Nikki to a show there. Well, I do know why.

She’s ten years younger than me, just out of college and still wet behind the ears. And always horny. Her hair color changes with the season, but most of the time it’s shades of purple.

On movie night, I took her to see Zombie Pirates of Vancouver. We expected the show to be terrible, and weren’t disappointed. Halfway through, right when the main hero started chainsawing his way through the hordes, Nikki put aside her soda and touched my thigh. Her fingernails scratched through the denim, tickling my skin.

“This movie is terrible,” she said. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Midnight Show”

Humpday Story: Death of a Retail Associate

Death-of-a-Retail-Associate-GenericAdam knew exactly what hit him. A cardboard box full of metal hardware—wall brackets, t-stand arms, and pegs for hurdle fixtures. The dumb box weighed a hundred pounds. And it fell on top of his head. 

One thing to die at work, another to die in an elevator while listening to Christmas music. 

A sexy encounter from beyond the grave at a department store. If you enjoy strange fantasy erotica, be sure to read Death of a Retail Associate. Continue reading “Humpday Story: Death of a Retail Associate”

Sunday Quickie: Neighbor With Benefits

For three months, I had the hots for the girl in the apartment above mine. I lived in a studio apartment, one room and barely big enough for a queen size bed and a desk that was used both for meals and work. When I washed dishes in the evening, I often got the pleasure of watching her walk out of the building and to her car.

She always wore skimpy booty shorts and a tank top, baring her long legs and tanned skin. She had a sway to her hips, like she knew somebody was watching, no matter how small a chance.  Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Neighbor With Benefits”

Restarting the weekly free stories

Quick thank you to folks who downloaded and are reading books on Smashwords. So many of us are stuck at home. Hope everyone finds good books to read.

Also wanted to say that I’m restarting the free weekly short stories that I used to do on this website. Both the Sunday Quickie and the Humpday stories. The Sunday ones are flash sized, and on Wednesday are regular length short stories. That begins tomorrow.

I’ll mostly focus on newer ones that either haven’t been published or are heading towards publication, at least for awhile. But if anyone has an old favorite, feel free to request it in the comments.

A Sucker Every Day

When the Unthinkable Happens

A Sucker Every Day

by

Miriam F. Martin

WhenTheUnthinkableHappens_v1I’m not proud of this, but once upon a time I was involved in a pyramid scheme.

I was friends with a guy named Tim, who raved non-stop about this product called Big +5.

“It’ll give you an extra five inches,” Tim said, holding up a nondescript box with a picture of a buff guy on it. “Chicks will be waiting in line for you.”

Being 5 foot 4, I dreamed of being at least 5’9” and built like that guy on the box. I was sick of sending emails to pretty ladies who, if they even bothered responding, replied with a “nope, you’re too short for me.”

Sick and tired.

I decided to take my destiny in both hands and stroke it until I got laid. Or at least until women fell over themselves at my new found height.

Tim gave me a contract to sign. I was supposed to find two other guys who might benefit from Big +5, and sign them up too. Then time to roll in the dough, because I’d make a 30% commission on their sales and the sales of the people they signed up.

But of course, the real reason I went balls deep into the pyramid scheme was for the five inches of glory.

The product was a powder you mixed with water and drank three times a day for a week.

After a week, I woke up one morning giddy and excited. But I wasn’t any taller.

Then I went to the bathroom to take a leak.

And HOLY SHIT!

My penis was fucking huge. I got a ruler and measured. Seven inches! Big +5 really did work, but not in the way I thought it would.

I snapped a few photos and texted them to GamerGirl, who was on my doorstep in fifteen minutes begging me to let her blow me.

After I gave her the biggest load I’d ever done, she got a serious look in her eyes.

“What if,” she said, “you gained another five inches?”

I thought about that for a few minutes. Then I started on the next treatment of Big +5 that afternoon.

A week later, I was twelve inches long. More photos sent to GamerGirl, and again she choked on my rod. She went home very satisfied, with a big smile and dripping stain on her t-shirt.

But I wondered…

Another week passed, and another round of Big +5.

I had to use a tape measure to verify my new size. Seventeen monstrous inches.

GamerGirl responded to my texts with a “haha” and a winky emoji. But she still came over, a concerned and worried expression on her face.

She got down on her knees. My cock was so heavy, it kind of hurt as it hardened. I could barely lift it for her. GamerGirl could only fit the tip of my head into her mouth.

But she tried hard to please me.

And I got hard for her.

Then the unthinkable happened.

My cock was filled with so much blood that I started seeing stars. When she tried to fit more into her mouth, the weight of my massive boner shifted.

And then I heard a “snap” and my cock broke off.

My dismembered member slipped down GamerGirl’s throat. She choked on it, literally. And I fainted from blood loss.

When I woke up, the floor was covered in blood and vomit. GamerGirl was standing over me.

And then she smacked me with what I thought was a sock with a rock in it.

But it was my seventeen inch broken dick.

“Hope you’re happy,” she said, throat raspy. “The ambulance will be here any minute. I told them to take their sweet ass time.”

I got a penis replacement from a monkey donor. And I will never again buy into a pyramid scheme.

***

Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed the story, please consider leaving me a tip. Or, a bundled ebook version will be available for sale soon at your favorite retailer. Your support helps me write more stories!



Living Dead Girl

When the Unthinkable Happens

Living Dead Girl

by

Miriam F. Martin

WhenTheUnthinkableHappens_v1I’ve been Vampirella’s fuck buddy for a year now, but I never allowed her to blow me. Sure, she’s nibbled on my neck. She even bit off one of my nipples. That might be another story.

If you’ve ever seen her canine teeth, you’ll understand. The tips of her fangs poke out from her lips, which is cute when she’s wearing black lipstick. But when Vampirella smiles or gets angry at me, and she bares her teeth…

Oh shit, my dick shrivels up into my prostrate and I feel a little light headed.

Vampirella is charming as hell. And when she wears the blue-black corset that pushes her boobs up and her pale skin almost shines in the candlelight, Vampirella can sweet talk me into the stupidest shit imaginable.

Like letting a woman with razor sharp fangs within biting distance of my genitals.

She batted her long, black eyelashes at me. She gave me red wine (which tasted sweet and coppery). Then she put me in a stranglehold until I unzipped my pants for her.

Sure enough, I was shriveled up to nothing. My cock looked more like a giant clit with a ball sack.

Vampirella clasped my wrists in manacles hanging from the ceiling (her living room has kinky decorations). She assured me that, as long as I didn’t get hard, she wouldn’t bite me.

Sounded easy enough. I wasn’t going to enjoy her blowjob. No way in hell. I was too scared to have a boner. Those teeth were too sharp.

I glanced up at the ceiling and thought about Paris, where I first met Vampirella.

I felt the sides of her canine teeth brush against my skin. The sharp edges of the rest of her teeth tickled down my little shaft. Her saliva was cold and wet. Vampirella has no breath, which is an odd lack of sensation.

And then I got hard.

Which made her more excited. Vampirella sucked me even harder. My cock soon filled her mouth. The fit between her teeth was amazingly tight. I was pleasantly surprised at how good it felt getting sucked off by a vampire chick.

Until her fangs snagged on my skin.

I yelped in pain.

And then the unthinkable happened.

Vampirella pulled back to make sure I was okay. (Well, I keep telling myself that was why.) In my thrashing about, somehow the tip of my cock made contact with the tip of her fang.

She bit down. Her canine tooth impaled straight through the head.

Blood spurted everywhere. The carpet, the walls, down her corset, in her mouth.

“Smmph mmmph mmm!” Vampirella mumbled around my cock. My brain translated that as “Stop thrashing about asshole!”

Eventually she pulled the tooth out of my dick. I looked down, and saw straight through my head to the carpet below.

Vampirella was kind enough to take me to the emergency room. But she only stayed with me until an hour before dawn, when she had to rush home to sleep in her coffin.

A few nights later, she texted me. “When u cuming over, b1tch? Call me. NOW.”

I’m scared of getting my dick pierced again.

What do they say about not inviting a vampire into your home? You can’t get rid of her. The same is true about not letting a vampire give you a BJ.

***

Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed the story, please consider leaving me a tip. Or, a bundled ebook version will be available for sale soon at your favorite retailer. Your support helps me write more stories!