The Billionaire Dinosaur in the Office

I’m still around and kicking. And I’m proud to announce I’m back at publishing. Today I uploaded my latest collection of short stories, The Billionaire Dinosaur in the Office, to all the retailers. I’ll post links and more information tomorrow or so, when everything goes through.

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A billionaire shapeshifting dinosaur in a glass office. A cubicle farm of gorgeous women willing to do anything for him. And only one human resources lady to keep them all in line.

Looking for erotica that pokes fun at tropes? Look no further.

Five short stories about a hunky billionaire with a secret dark side and the women who work for him. Be sure to read The Billionaire Dinosaur in the Office.

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Some of you may have read some or all of these stories as they were free to read on the blog at various points. I’m thrilled they finally came together into a book. The stories are all satirical and poke fun at certain erotica tropes that annoy me. Hope you enjoy reading them as much as i enjoyed writing them.

I will probably get back into the groove of posting a free weekly short story… eventually. I want to get my publishing schedule back on track. And I have a bazillion stories to write, so that requires focus. One thing at a time. Someday soon, the weekly freebies will return.

Hop on Over to the North Pole

Hop on Over to the North Pole_Cover_v1AUTHOR’S NOTE: This one isn’t actually published yet. You get to read it here first! I’m ramping back up my publishing operations, and this story is scheduled for January. Cherry Mistmas! Continue reading “Hop on Over to the North Pole”

Humpday Story: Femme Phobia

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The dark, clowns, and women—three things Jeremy Price fears.

When he seeks out Dr. Jane Bernstein’s help, little choice remains but to face those fears one by one. But even in the safety of Dr. Jane’s office, that last fear can be paralyzing.

Friendly, supportive, but certainly no sexual object, Dr. Jane treats Jeremy as an equal. As a person. Unlike the other women in his life. Even so, Jeremy struggles with one simple request.

He’d rather lay on the sofa than sit in the chair. Aren’t therapy sessions supposed to be that way?

If you enjoy quirky cougar erotica, be sure to read Femme Phobia.

Copyright © 2017 Hermit Muse Publishing

Cover image: MilanMarkovic/BigStockPhoto

Cover design: David Anthony Brown

If you would like to purchase this story, you can find it at your favorite retailer.

Humpday Story: A Fitting Room Squeeze

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Seven in the evening, right before closing time, and Tyler badly wants to get some tacos and flake out in front of the TV. If he could, he’d quit his retail job at Humdinger’s at the drop of a hat.

And tonight, every hat in the men’s department fell over, for no reason at all. 

As if straightening the hats weren’t enough, the most obnoxious customer ever demands Tyler’s attention. 

Turns out, she wants to use the fitting room for reasons of her own. 

If you enjoy quirky erotic short stories, be sure to read A Fitting Room Squeeze.

If you would like to purchase this story, you can find it at your favorite retailer.

Humpday Story: Dawn at the Sunset Corral

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Dawn Copperpot comes out to the creek by the Sunset Corral for only one reason. Well, two—to be by herself, and to masturbate.

After a long morning of mucking out stables, Dawn needs the me-time. Armed with a shotgun, a couple of sex toys, and her imagination; she waits for the sunrise to have the perfect orgasm. But her imagination leads her to the memory of Nate Ramsey, the one who got away.

Until a nearby twig snaps.

If you enjoy sweet, contemporary Western-inspired erotica, be sure to read Dawn at the Sunset Corral.

This story is no longer free to read, but you can find it at your favorite retailer.

Humpday Story: The Sexy Umbrella of Doom

The-Sexy-Umbrella-of-Doom-GenericRain marks the beginning of Charley Vaughn’s vacation. The kind of rain fit for an epic nap interrupted by coffee breaks. But no matter, Miami offers Charley endless fascination.

Magical fascination, as it turns out.

Talking dogs, alligators singing opera, and street magicians. And one sexy umbrella that purrs like like a kitten when opened.

One look upwards into the transparent blue plastic, and Charley finds herself walking on the clouds with a strange and alluring man. Soon enough, they do a lot more than just walking.

If you enjoy quirky and humorous erotic fantasy, be sure to read The Sexy Umbrella of Doom.

If you would like to purchase this story, you can find it at your favorite retailer.

Dirty Thirty!

A few newsworthy items…

Quick reminder about the Smashword’s Summer/Winter sale. You can get the Miriam F. Martin books for half off until the end of the month. Not a lot of time left on the deal.

And something I hadn’t entirely realized… I’ve gone thirty weeks of posting two short stories per week without repeating. “Control” was quickie number thirty, and “For Friends and Money” was the thirtieth humpday story.

Originally I’d planned on writing a brand new short story for each week for 52 weeks. Then life smacked me around and I had to dip into my catalogue to keep things going. But I still wrote a bunch of new work, so total win.

I’m resetting my goals again. So in the meantime, I’ll repost some of the older Wednesday stories until I have a backlog of new stuff. Any requests, you can leave it in the comment section.

And one more thing… I’m rebranding Siren’s Garter yet again. Still have a lot of work with cover designs, but I’m pleased with the new direction. I don’t think I’ll relaunch the issues this year, but certainly early next year I’ll have enough to a) publish more issues, and b) re-release the older issues with new designs. Right now I have six issues published, and the next four mostly put together.

I’ll much more to say about all that when I’m closer to having final products.