When the Unthinkable Happens
A Sucker Every Day
Miriam F. Martin
I’m not proud of this, but once upon a time I was involved in a pyramid scheme.
I was friends with a guy named Tim, who raved non-stop about this product called Big +5.
“It’ll give you an extra five inches,” Tim said, holding up a nondescript box with a picture of a buff guy on it. “Chicks will be waiting in line for you.”
Being 5 foot 4, I dreamed of being at least 5’9” and built like that guy on the box. I was sick of sending emails to pretty ladies who, if they even bothered responding, replied with a “nope, you’re too short for me.”
Sick and tired.
I decided to take my destiny in both hands and stroke it until I got laid. Or at least until women fell over themselves at my new found height.
Tim gave me a contract to sign. I was supposed to find two other guys who might benefit from Big +5, and sign them up too. Then time to roll in the dough, because I’d make a 30% commission on their sales and the sales of the people they signed up.
But of course, the real reason I went balls deep into the pyramid scheme was for the five inches of glory.
The product was a powder you mixed with water and drank three times a day for a week.
After a week, I woke up one morning giddy and excited. But I wasn’t any taller.
Then I went to the bathroom to take a leak.
And HOLY SHIT!
My penis was fucking huge. I got a ruler and measured. Seven inches! Big +5 really did work, but not in the way I thought it would.
I snapped a few photos and texted them to GamerGirl, who was on my doorstep in fifteen minutes begging me to let her blow me.
After I gave her the biggest load I’d ever done, she got a serious look in her eyes.
“What if,” she said, “you gained another five inches?”
I thought about that for a few minutes. Then I started on the next treatment of Big +5 that afternoon.
A week later, I was twelve inches long. More photos sent to GamerGirl, and again she choked on my rod. She went home very satisfied, with a big smile and dripping stain on her t-shirt.
But I wondered…
Another week passed, and another round of Big +5.
I had to use a tape measure to verify my new size. Seventeen monstrous inches.
GamerGirl responded to my texts with a “haha” and a winky emoji. But she still came over, a concerned and worried expression on her face.
She got down on her knees. My cock was so heavy, it kind of hurt as it hardened. I could barely lift it for her. GamerGirl could only fit the tip of my head into her mouth.
But she tried hard to please me.
And I got hard for her.
Then the unthinkable happened.
My cock was filled with so much blood that I started seeing stars. When she tried to fit more into her mouth, the weight of my massive boner shifted.
And then I heard a “snap” and my cock broke off.
My dismembered member slipped down GamerGirl’s throat. She choked on it, literally. And I fainted from blood loss.
When I woke up, the floor was covered in blood and vomit. GamerGirl was standing over me.
And then she smacked me with what I thought was a sock with a rock in it.
But it was my seventeen inch broken dick.
“Hope you’re happy,” she said, throat raspy. “The ambulance will be here any minute. I told them to take their sweet ass time.”
I got a penis replacement from a monkey donor. And I will never again buy into a pyramid scheme.
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