The Undressing Room

When the Unthinkable Happens

The Undressing Room


Miriam F. Martin

WhenTheUnthinkableHappens_v1I take GamerGirl out clothes shopping every so often. Not real sure why I do so. Ever notice the chair outside the ladies’ fitting rooms? That’s where I sleep.

When I’m not sleeping, I’m fantasizing. One of my biggest fantasies is to have wild, raunchy sex in the fitting room.

Surprisingly (or not) this is one of GamerGirl’s fantasies too.

For both of us, it’s the thrill of getting caught by a fitting room attendant, or by another customer. Or maybe even by security.

Luckily, department stores have drastically cut back on their staffing, so getting caught by an attendant is unlikely. Also because of less staff, there’s fewer customers. And security at these stores tends to be one guy who sits at a desk and watches TV all day, so no worries there.

But none of that kills the illusion.

So we were in the fitting room at GamerGirl’s favorite department store. She had an arm full of Lolita style dresses to try on. I had a massive boner bulging in my pants. She looked at me, I looked at her.

Then I pushed her into the cubicle and we ripped each other’s clothes off.

I played with her pussy for a bit to make her wet. Then I slipped on a condom. (She has five kids. She doesn’t need one from me. And Hubby owns guns.)

I turned her around to face the mirror. GamerGirl braced herself with a hand on opposite walls. I was balls deep in her.

Pretty soon, we were both sweaty. Our hair was a mess. Her makeup was ruined. I made eye contact with her in the mirror. Watching her tits bounce and her eyes roll backwards, just made me even hotter.

Then, over the intercom: “Good afternoon customers. There’s a tornado watch in affect. Sorry for the inconvenience, but we ask that you follow all ten of our employees to the designated safety area. Thank you.”

The thrill of being caught intensified. Now it was the thrill of being in danger. What if the roof got torn off while we were fucking?

GamerGirl and I rattled the cubicles. A few of the bolts fell out and clinked on the floor. The mirror almost came off the wall. It hung sideways.

And then the unthinkable happened.

People came marching into the dressing room. Lots of people. Employees, customers, security guy. More than I thought were in the store. Their feet shuffled across the hardwood floor.

“Is this really the tornado drill area?” said one person.

“Yes, ma’am,” said another. “And this isn’t drill, ma’am.”

“Just doesn’t seem all that safe.”

“Mommy, she has four feet!” said yet another voice, one with a high shrill like nails on chalkboard.

My dick shriveled up. I didn’t have to pull out. It just kind of fell out and migrated up into my prostate. My condom fell off and dropped to the floor. I didn’t dare move to pick it up.

GamerGirl and I froze, like deer in the headlights. Or rabbits caught in the garden late at night. Or…

Well, fuck it. We got caught, and it was nothing like I imagined. All the hot sweat was now cold.

I signaled to GamerGirl in the mirror. After a few weird hand signs, we agreed to dress ourselves.

I moved slower than a sloth slowed down with more than enough booze to tranq a mammoth. One leg. One pant-leg. Then the other. Pull the jeans up very, very damned slowly. Neither of us made a sound.

Then, unthinkably, the unthinkable struck again.

I accidentally smashed my elbow into the cubicle wall. Thunk! I froze again. The wall didn’t stay so still. The mirror creaked, and then fell to the floor and smashed into a thousand gazillion pieces.

The dressing room got real quiet quick. Even the tornado seemed to quiet down.

“Mommy, what was mmph mmmph…”

GamerGirl and I pretended the people outside the cubicle didn’t exist, as best we could. In return, the ignored us best they could. It was like being at family dinner and the weird uncle farted loud enough to rattle the house.

Nobody said anything.

After what seemed like an endless eternity, the damn tornado ended. GamerGirl and I cut our feet on the glass shards.

Driving her to the emergency room was the single most painful experience ever, not counting anything Vampirella’s done to me.

Needless to say, we’re both banned from that department store.


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A Sucker Every Day

When the Unthinkable Happens

A Sucker Every Day


Miriam F. Martin

WhenTheUnthinkableHappens_v1I’m not proud of this, but once upon a time I was involved in a pyramid scheme.

I was friends with a guy named Tim, who raved non-stop about this product called Big +5.

“It’ll give you an extra five inches,” Tim said, holding up a nondescript box with a picture of a buff guy on it. “Chicks will be waiting in line for you.”

Being 5 foot 4, I dreamed of being at least 5’9” and built like that guy on the box. I was sick of sending emails to pretty ladies who, if they even bothered responding, replied with a “nope, you’re too short for me.”

Sick and tired.

I decided to take my destiny in both hands and stroke it until I got laid. Or at least until women fell over themselves at my new found height.

Tim gave me a contract to sign. I was supposed to find two other guys who might benefit from Big +5, and sign them up too. Then time to roll in the dough, because I’d make a 30% commission on their sales and the sales of the people they signed up.

But of course, the real reason I went balls deep into the pyramid scheme was for the five inches of glory.

The product was a powder you mixed with water and drank three times a day for a week.

After a week, I woke up one morning giddy and excited. But I wasn’t any taller.

Then I went to the bathroom to take a leak.


My penis was fucking huge. I got a ruler and measured. Seven inches! Big +5 really did work, but not in the way I thought it would.

I snapped a few photos and texted them to GamerGirl, who was on my doorstep in fifteen minutes begging me to let her blow me.

After I gave her the biggest load I’d ever done, she got a serious look in her eyes.

“What if,” she said, “you gained another five inches?”

I thought about that for a few minutes. Then I started on the next treatment of Big +5 that afternoon.

A week later, I was twelve inches long. More photos sent to GamerGirl, and again she choked on my rod. She went home very satisfied, with a big smile and dripping stain on her t-shirt.

But I wondered…

Another week passed, and another round of Big +5.

I had to use a tape measure to verify my new size. Seventeen monstrous inches.

GamerGirl responded to my texts with a “haha” and a winky emoji. But she still came over, a concerned and worried expression on her face.

She got down on her knees. My cock was so heavy, it kind of hurt as it hardened. I could barely lift it for her. GamerGirl could only fit the tip of my head into her mouth.

But she tried hard to please me.

And I got hard for her.

Then the unthinkable happened.

My cock was filled with so much blood that I started seeing stars. When she tried to fit more into her mouth, the weight of my massive boner shifted.

And then I heard a “snap” and my cock broke off.

My dismembered member slipped down GamerGirl’s throat. She choked on it, literally. And I fainted from blood loss.

When I woke up, the floor was covered in blood and vomit. GamerGirl was standing over me.

And then she smacked me with what I thought was a sock with a rock in it.

But it was my seventeen inch broken dick.

“Hope you’re happy,” she said, throat raspy. “The ambulance will be here any minute. I told them to take their sweet ass time.”

I got a penis replacement from a monkey donor. And I will never again buy into a pyramid scheme.


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How to Annoy a Mosh Pit

When the Unthinkable Happens

How to Annoy a Mosh Pit


Miriam F. Martin

WhenTheUnthinkableHappens_v1One of my long time fantasies was to have sex at a heavy metal concert.

This is why I’m friends with GamerGirl, even though she’s married. Not because she has ginormous boobs. Or because she has a pet monkey. Because she makes a lot of my other fantasies come true.

I bought tickets to see Rob Zombie, and then invited GamerGirl and explained what I had in mind. She quickly agreed, promptly arranging for her hubby to watch the five kids and the monkey that night.

At the concert, I could barely keep my hands off her. GamerGirl wore skimpy booty shorts, knee-high slut boots with six-inch heels, and low cut tank-top that showed off her big breasts. While in line waiting to get into the door, I wanted to drop my zipper and do her right then and there.

Instead, I bought us a few beers. I also got her a Rob Zombie t-shirt that I didn’t let her wear, because I wasn’t done perving at her boobs yet. I tied the shirt around my waist to hide my boner.

We had perfect seats, just right of the stage, above the bassist.

When the band took the stage, I pushed GamerGirl to balcony railing. I grinded my hips against her, to work up my nerve. I didn’t want to start too soon. I didn’t want to keep her waiting too long either. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure of the protocol of fucking during a concert.

And then GamerGirl flashed Rob Zombie. I was ready.

I unzipped and shoved my pencil thin dick into her booty shorts. Luckily she wasn’t wearing panties. With a little fumbling about, I found her pussy.

During the guitar solo, I pounded her with the drum rhythm.

The mosh pit was bouncing.

So were GamerGirl’s breasts.

Well into the third song, I blew a load into her pussy. Some of it dripped down her legs and into her boots.

I held her close, enjoying the afterglow and the music. This wasn’t quite like losing my virginity. But it was a close second.

I was invigorated enough to get hard again. Round two sounded like a wonderful idea.

Until somebody tapped me roughly on the shoulder. I turned around. Some big biker dude in a studded leather vest, with a greasy long beard and tattoos on his face.

“Oh shit,” said GamerGirl. “Hi Hubby.”

“Oh, shit,” I said.

And then another song started up. Fuck it. Already caught, might as well go all the way. I gave Hubby the finger and grabbed GamerGirl by the hips. I shoved my cock into her ass.

I got three pumps.

And then the unthinkable happened.

Hubby grabbed me by the hips and pulled his pants down.

Then I got an ass-full of his cock. And let’s just say, he’s a lot bigger than me.

And he hit my prostate HARD.

Hubby gave me the most intense orgasm I’ve ever experienced. I blew a load that flew over the mosh pit. Then another. After the third wad, Hubby threw me over the balcony into the pit.

Last I saw, he carried GamerGirl over one shoulder and left. Then I got my ass kicked and blacked out.

The rest of the concert is a blur, maybe because I had a concussion.

But I lived my fantasy in more ways than one. I fucked at a heavy metal concert, and then I got fucked.

GamerGirl wants to go to a Bush concert next. I hope Hubby isn’t invited.


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