Humpday Story: The Birthday Sandwich

TheBirthdaySandwich_Coverv1Amy prefers her birthday to be simple. Pot of coffee, the newspaper, and a quiet morning alone in her birthday suit. She’s content to wait for the hubby to return from work before celebrating. But things don’t go her way when the doorbell rings, and she opens the door to find a policeman on her porch.

Officer Tim McNaughty isn’t what he appears, although in another career he’d make a swell Elvis impersonator.

If you’re in the mood for humorous menage MFM erotica, be sure to read The Birthday Sandwich. Continue reading “Humpday Story: The Birthday Sandwich”

Sunday Quickie: No Shame in the Jacuzzi

I met Elisa at the gym where I workout, about six months back. We were instant friends, and she’s been coaching and cheering me on ever since. I’ve slimmed down a lot. I’m a hell of a lot stronger too.

Elisa is a slim and strong bombshell to begin with. Her arms are firm with well defined muscles. She has a set of legs that any younger woman would be jealous of. And her abs, admittedly, make me a little wet whenever she wears a sports bra. Unlike my giant ridiculous boobs, Elisa has small teacup sized breasts and, though I’d never seen them, they sure looked perky and firm.

Also unlike me, she has enough self-confidence for two women. You can see it in her posture and the way she casually flips her shoulder length brown hair into a ponytail. I love that about her.

Oh, and she loves other women. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: No Shame in the Jacuzzi”

Humpday Story: The Sexy Umbrella of Doom


Rain marks the beginning of Charley Vaughn’s vacation. The kind of rain fit for an epic nap interrupted by coffee breaks. But no matter, Miami offers Charley endless fascination.

Magical fascination, as it turns out.

Talking dogs, alligators singing opera, and street magicians. And one sexy umbrella that purrs like like a kitten when opened.

One look upwards into the transparent blue plastic, and Charley finds herself walking on the clouds with a strange and alluring man. Soon enough, they do a lot more than just walking.

If you enjoy quirky and humorous erotic fantasy, be sure to read The Sexy Umbrella of Doom. Continue reading “Humpday Story: The Sexy Umbrella of Doom”

Humpday Story: Shadow of a Doubt

Shadow-of-a-Doubt-GenericNot everyone rekindles a romance with their high school sweetheart. For Nate O’Brian, his young hearted belonged to his high school art teacher, Darla Johnson. But being with her never was an option.

Nate still remembers her sweet smile, and the tight mini-skirts with black pantyhose she used to wear.

Fast forward seventeen years… New cats, new job, new house to call his own. Nate couldn’t ask for anything more in life, except for love.

Until he sees a familiar woman mowing the yard next door to his. Continue reading “Humpday Story: Shadow of a Doubt”

Sunday Quickie: Full of Hot Air

On the most beautiful day of the summer last year, I finally caved in for my boyfriend. Ryan had mocked me since New Year’s, chided me for being a big baby. He bullied me, pressured me until I couldn’t tell him no any longer.

He set up the hot air balloon at the riverside campsite where we’d first had sex. The maple trees were green and lush, and all the wildflowers were in full bloom. The air was hot, and heavy with the scent of nature.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, eager to be done with this balloon trip. I did not like heights, and Ryan knew it. But something about watching him work made me giddy. He wore tan shorts and a red polo shirt, with white sneakers. I helped where I could, pulling ropes taut, moving stuff around, but mostly I just gawked. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Full of Hot Air”

Humpday Story: After Hours on the Full Moon

AfterHoursOnTheFullMoon_Coverv1All sorts of men drink at the Squatter’s Dive bar, and Cheryl gets to meet all of them. Being a bartender has that perk, and having a little bit of cleavage helps with the tips.

But the cutest guys are never single, and the one at the end of the bar seems to be no exception. He’s well dressed, handsome, and waiting for a date.

Pete isn’t entirely sure his date will show up. But would he go for a bartender with exotic tattoos on both arms?

If you enjoy smart and sexy erotica, be sure to read After Hours on the Full Moon.
Continue reading “Humpday Story: After Hours on the Full Moon”

Sunday Quickie: Never Say Never, Sir

I’ve always played safe. I didn’t sleep around with strangers I just met. Never invited a woman into my place unless I had a couple dates with her first. This has been my practice since becoming an adult.

But after the divorce I was strung out and out of my mind desperate for some touch. 

I was at some seedy hotel that needed renovation too many years ago. The front desk auditor tossed me the key without looking away from his ten inch black and white TV. I think he was just fascinated by it because it was ancient tech. I thanked him, as if he gave two shits. I was paying by the hour. At least it was early in the evening, he promised me nobody had used the room previously tonight.

My stomach twisted up in all kinds of knots. I thought about maybe canceling. Perhaps not even bother texting “Karen” the room number. I could just go home and pretend I wasn’t about to go through with this. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Never Say Never, Sir”

Authors Give Back Sale at Smashwords now extended

Smashwords has extended the Authors Give Back sale to May 31. If you’re looking for free and cheap reads during the extended lockdown, be sure to check out the deals there.

And again, I’ve put my books on sale. Both the Siren’s Garter branded erotica and my SF/F I wrote under the D. Anthony Brown pen-name.

Erotic short stories are 30% off.

Erotic collections and short novels are 60% off.

All six issues of Siren’s Garter are FREE.

And everything that exists under my D. Anthony Brown pen-name is 30% off.

You can find the Hermit Muse catalog on Smashwords here. Stay safe. Find things to do, like read fun books. We’ll get through this somehow.

So far, people have downloaded well over 200 free copies of the Siren’s Garter issues. Hope I’ve entertained some people with my stories.

Stay safe out there.

Humpday Story: Five Years Without Dessert

Five-Years-Without-Dessert-GenericLate evening. Quiet restaurant. The best cherry pie in town. 

Caleb places his hand on top of Michelle’s. If only he planned this perfect date. Perfection meaning, only coffee and dessert. Maybe more later…

Sometimes, perfection happens when not planned.

*** Continue reading “Humpday Story: Five Years Without Dessert”

Sunday Quickie: Dessert First

The first time I invited over Tegan, a woman I’d been going steady with for a month, I messed up royally. Like, real bad, how did I earn a second date with this chick to begin, how much worse can it get?

I made coffee and that turned out well enough, if you like it dark and bitter enough to burn some brain cells. But I set the six egg omelet on fire. The hash browns were toasted into a thin crunchy layer of blackened flakes. I hadn’t realized what I forgot at the grocery until I found out I was out of bacon.

She was the kind of girl who might’ve starred in one of my many lesbian pornos—tall, curly blond hair, tanned legs with lean muscles. Never thought a girl like me could get close to a girl like her. Continue reading “Sunday Quickie: Dessert First”