The most overdone horror movie cliche—blond woman in high heels walks into a creepy house for no damn reason at all.
Kira, the blond in requisite high heels. And the two-story colonial in need of a paint job that she needs to sell.
Maybe… If she can figure out who haunts the house.
If enjoy erotica featuring sexy ghost on ghost action, be sure to read A Little Death in a Haunted House.
The most overdone horror movie cliche—blond woman in high heels walks into a creepy house for no damn reason at all.
Kira thought about taking her black four-inch heels off. But no way she wanted to climb the steep concrete stairs leading up to the big wrap-around cedar porch. Especially with all the nettles strewn about.
She asked herself why she wanted to go into the old two-story colonial style house. The light blue paint was in decent condition, though clearly the owners had missed the last needed paint job. The bushes and trees all needed pruning. Orange, red, and brown dry leaves were scattered all over the ground. The smells of autumn hung in the neighborhood—smashed pumpkins, chilly air, cookies baking from a nearby house. Though clearly not from the house in front of her.
The drapes were all shut tight. No lights were on inside as far as Kira could tell. No cars were parked out front or in the driveway. By all appearances, the house sat empty.
Kira wanted coffee. Or ice cream. Coffee flavored ice cream would do nicely. Something to soothe her nerves. The house bothered her. More specifically, something inside the house bothered her, and Kira had no idea what.
Even worse, she couldn’t remembered what it was that brought her here.
Was she looking for somebody? Maybe she was here for a school assignment? Except Kira hadn’t been in school for a very long time.
Work! The job! Of course, she was a real estate agent. She knew that, sort of, in a weird dream like way. If this were a dream, she hoped to wake up some time soon. She had things to do, important stuff like setting up walk through appointments for clients, calling back other clients, and mostly kissing ass for every dime of commission she could scrape together.
No sale sign was in the yard. But Kira wore professional clothes—black pinstripe suit with a skirt that came to just above her knees, black sheer pantyhose, white silk blouse, and a yellow silk scarf around her neck. And of course the heels.
Normally her feet hurt like hell around this time of day. They didn’t, amazingly. For the first time in a long time, it felt like she was walking on air. Not bad for heels. Whatever brand they were, she got a good pair this time. She needed to buy more like them.
Kira checked her blond hair tied up in a bun. Well, sort of bun. Stray hairs stuck out every which way, and a long lock hung down the side of her face. She reached into her handbag and got out her compact. Kira fixed the mess as best she could while standing on the sidewalk, dropped the compact back into the depths of handbag hell, and strode up the stairs.
Whatever her business here, she’d take her cue from the owners. Perhaps she just needed to put the sign up in the yard, which wouldn’t be a big deal. The sign should be in her car… when she figured out where she parked.
Or could be just someone wanting an appraisal. Or to do a walk through. Whatever. Kira could figure it out. No way she was just here for no reason, even if the reason eluded her.
Even if she was a blond going into a house that was almost certainly haunted.
She had no idea what gave her that idea. It just popped into her head. Yes, the yard was tacky, the house needed some love, and it was going to be tough to sell this one. But haunted?
Just because the hair on the back of her tingled for no discernible reason, that wasn’t a particularly strong reason to believe the house was haunted. Kira wasn’t five years old, she didn’t even believe in ghosts. Except for that time when she saw a misty shape drifting across her college dorm room, that was definitely creepy. And some other time recently… But she couldn’t recall what off the top of her head.
At the top of the stairs, she straightened her jacket and skirt, rolled her neck, and then rang the doorbell. Nobody answered. She rang again, and waited until she felt awkward standing around waiting.
She tried the doorknob. It turned, and the door pushed open. Well, shit, go figure. The one time she tried the door, it was unlocked. Talk about bad horror movie scenes with blonds in heels, this was turning into that. All she had to do was step inside the house.
Kira turned away and put one foot on the first step down.
And then she looked back at the open door. Inside the house was dark. All she could see was the dark hardwood floor and white walls. Apparently the house was empty, or at least not lived it. No entry rug, no artwork, nothing to show signs of life.
Kira sighed. No sense in leaving empty handed and still wondering why she was here. She went into the door.
“Hello?” she said. The foyer was open to above, the staircase leading up to a catwalk. Her voice echoed. She shut the door. “I’m Kira Dunlap, the realtor.”
She wasn’t convinced by herself. How could a realtor be so un-self-assertive? This had to be a dream. She’d look down and discover she was only wearing her underwear, and the not the sexy kind with lace. And all her coworkers would be waiting in the living room.
Unless this was a nightmare, and closer to the horror movie image she had in mind.
She shut the door behind her. And then walked into the parlor.
A man sat in a high backed chair with his feet propped up on an ottoman. The other chairs and tables in the room had white drop-cloths draped over them. He wore a red satin robe with tan slippers. His brown hair was disheveled, like he’d just gotten out of the shower.
“About time you made up here,” he said. “Do you remember anything yet? Beside being a realtor?”
“Excuse me?” Kira said.
He pinched his nose. He had a strong jawline. By the shape of his arms and shoulders underneath the robe, he had other strong features as well.
“So the answer is no,” he said. “Try to be nice to someone. Can’t get nowhere.”
“Excuse me?” Kira said again. She felt like a broken record, but couldn’t help it. She just wanted to know what was going on.
“You don’t remember me?” he said. “Or this house?”
“No, sorry,” she said. “Not at all.”
He put his feet on the floor and leaned forward on his knees. “It’s perfectly normal. Happens to all of us when we… umm, pass through.”
“Pass through what?”
He waved his hands about, clearly not wanting to explain what he meant.
Kira was tired of being the dumb blond in this scene. She needed answers and, dammit all, she was getting them.
“Look dude,” she said. “You can be straight with me and just tell me what’s going on. Or I can walk out.”
“Walk out,” he said. “Won’t really matter until you figure it out for yourself.”
Kira crossed her arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I can’t just tell you straight up. You need to solve this one yourself. Otherwise we’ll just keep having the repeat of the last few days.”
“Last few days?” Kira said. “Do I have amnesia?”
“Sort of, but I wish it were really that simple.”
“Don’t patronize me,” she said.
“I’m trying hard not to, Kira” he stood up and walked over to the window. He pulled aside the drapes and peeped outside for a second. “My name’s Ryan, by the way. In case you didn’t remember it.”
Kira bit her tongue. Oddly, that name sounded familiar and seemed right. It was like she’d already met Ryan once and only now just recalled his name. Except she still wasn’t sure how she knew him. The name just felt right. It suited him.
“Okay, Ryan,” she said. “Answer a few questions. Maybe I’ll figure this out. Am I selling your home?”
He tilted his head, as if unsure how to answer that. “No,” he said at last.
She rattled off question after question. Are you buying this house? Are we related? Are we neighbors? Do I owe you money?
Each answer was no.
Kira sighed, about ready to just walk away and leave. But the problem nagged at her. “Have I been in this house before?”
“Yes,” Ryan said.
The house seemed familiar somehow. But not intimately familiar. She knew she didn’t live here.
Kira turned away, out of the parlor, just to have a break. She set one foot on the staircase, leaned against the wall, and looked up at the catwalk above. The upstairs was a long ways up. Kira felt dizzy just staring at the height. One hell of a long ways to fall.
And then it came to her.
“Oh shit,” she said. “I died here.”
“Ding ding ding,” Ryan said from behind her. “We have a winner.”
“Well you don’t have to be such a smart ass about it,” she snapped at him. Dying made her cranky. Too bad she had to find out the hard way.
But now the whole incident flashed back into her brain. She was in the house doing an appraisal. The house had been foreclosed and sat empty for a few months. She found the perfect buyer for it, but wanted to make sure it was really worth what the bank wanted for it.
She’d been upstairs in her bare feet to keep the carpets clean, checking the bathroom that was right at the top of the stairs. Kira made jotted down notes on the condition of the house—mold in sink and bathtub, toilet seat cracked, linoleum floor from the 1980s.
And then she stubbed her toe on the doorframe. Hard. She cursed and hopped around on one foot, which made her lose her balance. She stumbled to the railing, managing to save herself from tumbling down the steps head first.
But all her life she’d dealt with vertigo. She gripped the railing tight, walking slow along the catwalk. Vertigo won out, and Kira lost her balance again.
She fell from the catwalk to the hardwood floor below, twisting her neck just wrong and died.
“Oh shit,” she said again, sitting down on the first step. “I really died. Of all the ways I could’ve gone…”
Ryan touched her gently on the shoulder, rubbing her back with his fingers. “Hey, newbie, relax. We all have trouble at first. You’ll be fine.”
“But I’m dead,” Kira said. Saying it more often didn’t make herself feel better, nor did it really help sink in the reality.
“All of us die,” he said. “Now you get a second chance, and not everybody gets that.”
Kira bit her lip. “You mean not everybody becomes a ghost?”
“You’re a quick one,” he said. “Yup, you’ve joined the lucky few who spend the afterlife still on Earth.”
“Wait wait,” she said. “What about heaven? Hell? Do other people go to other places?”
Ryan held up one hand. “I don’t know,” he said. “Nobody knows where some folks go. It’s a mystery even to us ghosts.”
She nodded, unsure of what to make of that. She wasn’t sure what to make of something he mentioned.
“I’m lucky to still be on Earth?” she said.
He smiled and sat down next to her. He kept a few inches between them, but she could feel his warmth. His cologne smelled lovely, just a hint from underneath his chin.
“Being dead doesn’t suck,” he said. “Okay. Yeah, you’re not alive and that makes it hard to communicate with your loved ones. But the trade off is now everything you experienced in life is now heightened.”
“Heightened?” she said.
“Food smells heavenly,” he said. “Sunsets and sunrises are like masterpiece artwork. Sex is amazing.”
“Amazing?” she said.
Her heart skipped a beat. In life, she’d only had one really good lover. In college, she met a biker dude with tattoos and Harley. Bret could be both gentle and rough in the same night. He brought her to amazing multiple squirting orgasms every time.
No other man even came close to doing what Bret could do with his pinky finger.
Ryan just nodded, not adding anything more to what he already said.
Kira tilted her head to Ryan. He was cute. Not the bad boy Bret could be, but she’d no longer desired that sort of man anymore.
“So,” she said. “Sex is always amazing? Or just most of the time with the right person?”
That certainly got his attention. Ryan sat up a little straighter and scooted closer to her. Kira shifted towards him, the tip of her breast poking him in the arm. He tried to hide his boner underneath his satin robe, but failed.
“You can score with the wrong, like in life,” he said. “I suppose a really wrong person could make an otherwise amazing experience awful.”
“But you can meet other ghosts?” she said. “It’s not like I’m stuck here in this house?”
“You’re probably not stuck,” he said. “That happens in rare cases, with unfinished business kinds of situations. And I don’t think it’s ever a permanent thing.”
“Good.” She swept her fingers through her hair. “So, do you know how long I’ve been dead?”
“About a month,” he said. “I was in the neighborhood looking for new clothes and noticed you. Figured you needed some help.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I do feel better, oddly. Knowing I’m dead is releasing.”
The dread from the house no longer affected her. The real dread must’ve been subconsciously knowing she’d died in the house and being afraid. But now that the truth was in the light, Kira realized she had nothing to fear.
Plus, having Ryan next to her made a nice bonus.
She really did feel a lot better.
Now, like an awkward first date, silence hung between Kira and Ryan. He seemed at a loss for words. Then he made eye contact with her.
And she kissed him.
Total stranger. In a strange house. When she found out the absolute worst thing possible had happened.
And Kira locked lips with him. It was like kissing Bret with all the excitement of the danger around him, but even more intense. Her lips and throat tingled. The tips of her breasts ached. She kicked off her heels and curled her toes against the carpet. A wet spot on her panties warmed her inner thighs.
Kira had never been this horny so fast.
He pulled away, but she grabbed him by the back of the hair and held him near. Ryan gave up fighting her. His hands roamed up her ribs, tickling her, then arousing her even more as he cupped her breasts in both hands.
She wrapped her leg around his, and put her arms around his shoulders, making something of a human pretzel. Or a ghost pretzel. She closed her eyes, slowly playing tongue tag with him.
And then a sense of vertigo kicked in. Small at first. She figured it was just nerves of making out with a stranger. Then the vertigo grew, enveloping her every nerve.
Kira snapped her eyes open.
They were ten feet above the steps!
She screamed. “Oh shit! Put me down! Put me down!”
Kira wrapped her arms and legs tighter around Ryan, making him backflip accidentally. She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed. She could feel downward momentum. When she peeked one eye open, they were most of the way back down, slowly descending.
Kira rolled off of him at the last moment.
“Sorry,” he said. “That was thoughtless of me. And it won’t happen again.”
Kira panted. The vertigo still made her dizzy. But surprisingly, she didn’t feel nausea like she usually did when staring down from a height. Just jittery like she’d drank too much coffee.
“You okay?” Ryan touched her on the arm.
“I’m… I don’t know yet,” she said. When she caught her breath, she explained how she died.
He nodded in understanding. “So sorry. I didn’t know.”
“But,” she said. “Okay, here’s the kicker. I don’t feel sick to my stomach. I can stand upright with no problem. I don’t need to lay down.”
“So that’s different, I take it?”
“Yes, very,” she said. “And maybe in a good way. I’m not sure if I want to explore this just yet.”
“Understandable,” he said. “And look, I don’t have any expectations. I was kind of hoping…”
“To get lucky?” she winked at him. “Well, you certainly have my attention. I suggest you take advantage of it while you can.”
Ryan took her hand. “There’s still a bed upstairs, left over from when another realtor tried to sell this place. This time I promise no floating in the air.”
“Deal,” she said.
Kira pulled him up the stairs. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she was excited.
Might’ve been her first day of being dead, but it felt like her birthday. And she was living it up.
The master bedroom was upstairs and down the hall from the bathroom. Kira hadn’t even gotten to this room before dying. Just like Ryan mentioned, there was a queen sized bed set up in the middle with two regular pillows, a quilt, and a bunch of frilly decorative pillows. The walls and windows were bare.
Kira tossed the decorative pillows off to the floor. After she did so, she was amazed her hand hadn’t passed through. And then she couldn’t grab hold of the quilt to pull it down.
“Don’t over think it,” Ryan said. “You did fine with the pillows. So just trust yourself. Exactly like you did all your life.”
“Thanks,” she said. She exhaled, closing her eyes, and then inhaled and let out her breath again.
Then she pulled the quilt down. There were no sheets on the bed. Just a plain mattress, and not a particularly good one at that. She pressed her fingers into the squeaky bedsprings. At least there weren’t any stains.
“See, you’re a natural,” he pointed to the pillows and quilt on the floor.
“Haunting 101, I guess,” she said.
“Some of the basics aren’t too hard, as you just proved to yourself,” said Ryan. “I can show you the other tricks. And some survival stuff, like finding a new set of clothes, and eating.”
“We can eat?” she said.
“Yeah totally. We don’t have to anymore, but it’s fun. And food tastes even better when you’re dead, I think.”
“Can’t wait to find out,” she said. “What else is even better?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he pushed her gently onto the bed.
She stripped off her suit jacket, and then laid down flat with her arms above her head. She wrapped her legs around his torso, drawing him in closer to her. Ryan kissed her sweetly on the mouth while opening her shirt one slow button at a time, her skin tingled as he did so.
She pulled apart his robe, sliding it over his shoulders and off his body. Underneath he wore no shirt and only a pair of silk pajama bottoms. His skin was smooth. A small dark patch of hair was in the middle of his chest. His muscles were lean and strong.
Ryan kissed down her neck and between her breasts, then down her stomach. Each kiss sent shivers throughout her body starting at the point where his warm lips met her skin.
And then he lifted her skirt up. Kira wished she’d worn sexier panties. She hadn’t planned on anything fun with no boyfriend to go home to, and no dates planned for the night. He didn’t seem to mind her practical hip hugging white panties. At least not too much. He kissed the edges of the fabric near her thighs, and then the little wet spot that she’d made earlier.
And then he took off her panties. She kept her pussy trimmed and neat, more for her own sake. She preferred the way it smelled when it was neat. Though for the right man she might’ve shaved it off. Again, Ryan didn’t seem to mind one way or the other. He played with her hair with his fingers.
Ryan licked at her hood and down her labia. He slowly kissed and played with her until she opened up, and then he spread her lips apart. Tongue pressed firmly on her clit, he licked her while slowly sliding one finger inside.
She closed her eyes. Everything he did to her, even though he clearly tried to be gentle as possible, felt magnified. More intense than she’d ever felt except with her vibrator. And even her most powerful sex toy paled in comparison to what Ryan was doing.
Not bad, considering she often preferred her toys over real men. Most men didn’t understand how to make her feel sexy.
Oddly, Ryan was still experimenting and trying different strokes and speeds, and she already was close.
He made eye contact with her. And then slid another finger inside her, and curled his fingers forwards and backwards.
And that sent her right over the damn edge.
Kira howled and kicked at him. Her legs and arms ached with tension. The orgasm started in her pelvis, warmth spreading to her belly and flooding all her senses. The room smelled of wet pussy. The warm air clung to her sweaty skin. She could taste her own sex in the air.
She looked down at him. Ryan had stopped performing his magic.
“See? More intense than you’re used to?” he said.
“I could get used to this,” she said, catching her breath. “Why couldn’t this happen when I was alive?”
“I wish it could have,” he said, and meant it. “It’s just as intense for me. And I tell you, I wish I could’ve experienced this kind of pleasure.”
“I’ve come close,” she said. “No pun intended.”
“Sex toys came close for me,” he said.
“Me too. I loved my vibrators. But if I’d had sex like this…”
“Never would’ve gone solo again.”
Kira wanted to return the favor for him. She patted her hand on the mattress next to her, motioning for him to lie down. When he didn’t, instead going for another helping of her pussy, she grabbed him by the hair and made him lie down on his back.
She ripped off his pajama pants. He went commando, wearing no underwear. He was trimmed to a narrow strip above. His cock was long and thick, just the right length for Kira and no bigger. Without ceremony, she took off the rest of her clothes—blouse, bra, and skirt.
She stroked him slowly, kissing and then sucking on each ball. Wasn’t hard to make him hard. A little firmer stroking and he dripped precum for her. This was all too easy. And if she weren’t careful, he’d blow his load fast.
So she teased his tip and shaft with her tongue very slowly, forcing herself to enjoy ever last taste even though she wanted him now.
He stroked her hair. Even that little bit of touch sent waves down her spine. Kira had never experienced such intense pleasure from something so simple. Another orgasm edged closer to the surface, not quite there yet but needing release.
Kira crawled up his body, scratching and kissing him along the way. Face to face to with him, she reached between her legs and helped him slide into her. He filled her just right, stretching her without hurting too much.
And then he held her tight and fucked her from underneath. Hard, slow, then fast, shaking the bed.
Kira wondered what it’d be like for a living person to walk into the room right now, hearing the mattress springs squeaks and the bed jostle side to side as if by magic. That would’ve certainly creeped her out. Kira hoped there wasn’t an open house scheduled for today.
And then she felt light weight, as if she might float into the air if Ryan let go of her. She clung to the mattress with both fists, fighting back the vertigo even though she was still solidly in his arms and on the bed.
“Oh fuck yes!” Ryan shouted. He shot a load of come inside her. An orgasm flashed through Kira, heating every part of her body. And then he did let go of her.
Kira rose into the air, his cock sliding out of her. Her pussy squirted all over him. Her orgasm kept going. She’d never had one like this.
“Come back!” she said, grabbing hold of his slick cock. Her feet continued rising toward the ceiling.
Ryan reached for her. But the way she was pulling on his cock made the lower half of his body rise too, making it awkward for him to grab her and pull her back down.
Instead, Kira floated higher, bringing him with her. All the way to the ceiling.
And then right through into the attic. Up through the roof. The sun shined on her naked body. Higher up she floated. She dared not let go of his cock, even though it was hard to hold on to as wet and slick as it was.
“Hold on,” Ryan said. He wiggled about, his upper body catching up with the rest of him.
“I thought you knew how to fly,” Kira said.
“Not like being a ghost makes you Superman,” he said.
“Oh,” she said.
When he was better aligned with her, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. She kept her focus on him, not on the house below or the trees or…
And then Ryan slipped his cock back inside her. Right when her orgasm seemed to be easing, her body responding all over again. She wrapped her arms tight over his shoulders and her legs around his torso. He gently pounded her in mid-air.
Orgasm after orgasm hit her like ocean waves coming in and back out. The sensation overwhelmed her. Kira didn’t think she could take anymore, but more came. The orgasms drowned out her vertigo. If Ryan weren’t holding on, she would’ve kept floating up higher and higher.
And then the orgasms became further apart. Less intense. She came back down, both from the sexual high and also literally from the sky. Ryan helped ease her downwards back to the roof.
Then through the roof, the attic, the ceiling, and back to the bed.
“Holy shit,” Kira said. She repeated the curse again, just for good measure. “Is every time like that?”
He rolled her off of him, and stretched out next to her with his face on his fist.
“Gets easier once you learn how to control yourself,” he said. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “I still don’t trust heights. But if you’re with me and willing to give me an orgasm or three, I’d be willing to stand on top of the Empire State Building.”
“Heights won’t hurt you anymore,” he said. “But I understand the fear.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Perhaps we should take a break? Get some food?”
“Will eating make me float upwards too?” she said.
“Does eating give you an orgasm?” he winked.
“There’s a bakery on Main that sells a damn fine chocolate pie,” she said. “Eating that comes close.”
Kira cupped his face and brought him down to her. And then she kissed him.
In a way, she wished she’d met Ryan while alive. To be able to experience him with more normal sex. But better too late than never at all.
Besides, if today was any indication, being dead wasn’t as bad as it was cracked up to be.
Copyright © 2020 Hermit Muse Publishing
Cover image © Baton/BigStockPhoto
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