Humpday Story: Gone to the Dogs

GoneToTheDogs_Coverv1 - CopyKacy spends her afternoons staring out her front window, watching Josh the cute neighbor guy walk his pug. But as the summer heats up, she decides to put on her bikini and do a little gardening in her front yard.

Not the normal method to pick up guys, but a girl does what she has to do. Like give the guy little choice in the matter.

The night only began…




The man rounded the corner, like clockwork. Every evening at seven o’clock, he walked his black pug in front of Kacy’s bungalow, her little piece of heaven.

At first, she stared at him through the sheer curtains of her front dining room window. He nearly always wore cargo shorts, a plaid short sleeve shirt, tucked in of course, and sandals. At least he didn’t wear socks. The way he walked—strolled—through the subdivision, head slightly down, each step the same stride, keeping pace with his old dog… that’s what intrigued Kacy.

He was reasonably tall, sure. And handsome in a rugged fashion. Not so dark, with mousy brown hair and freckles. But he strolled as if he didn’t care what anyone thought of his plaid shirt and pet pug.

After a week or so of staring at him from inside like a creepster, Kacy made it a point to water her bushes when he walked past.

As the summer grew hotter, she switched from jeans to skimpy shorts and t-shirts to form fitting tank tops. As her clothing choices got smaller, the more sideways his glances at her became. He always smiled nicely with big bright teeth, and said hello, but never glanced backwards when he walked away.

Tonight, she wore a black and gold bikini and flip-flops.

The humidity clung to her skin like a gauzy fabric. She made sure to have her back to him, watering hose in one hand, and screwed on the spray attachment. She bent over to pull a weed from her bush.

Kacy blew a string of hair out of her face, her breath minty fresh. She had brushed her teeth not long ago.

The pug snorted and wheezed. Kacy turned her head, and saw the man staring point blank at her backside. He blushed enough to hide his freckles and picked up his pace.

“Hey, dude,” said Kacy.

“Yes, neighbor?” he said. The pug pulled at the leash, anxious to be going. And then flopped down on the grass.

“What do you think you’re gawking at?”

“I’m… sorry. I’ll just be leaving.”

“No. I want to know. What were you staring at?”

He shrugged. “It’s nothing. Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry or I’m going to spray you.” Kacy lifted the hose, to make her point. She squeezed the trigger once, a thin jet of water gushed out.

The man held up his free hand. “Whoa. Truce?”

“Tell me your name.”

“To report me to the police? No way.”

“Maybe.” This time, Kacy shrugged. “I just want to know your name. You’ve walked by here enough. Can’t we be neighbors?”


“Assuming we are neighbors. And you’re not some creepy stalker and your van is parked around the corner.”

“Every stalker needs a sidekick,” he pointed to his now snoring pug. “Mine happens to be old and cranky.”

“Cute dog,” said Kacy. “Mind if I pet him.”

“Her. Her name’s Gertie.”

“Hey there, Gertie.” Kacy knelt down and stroked the pug’s grey and wrinkled forehead. The dog opened her eyes, snorted, and raised her head. “Who’s a good doggie?”

Gertie sniffed Kacy’s hand and laid her head back down.

The man shifted his weight from foot to foot. He looked everywhere but at Kacy. She wasn’t entirely sure if his face was red from the heat, or for some other reason.

“So,” he said at last. “What’s your name?”

“Excuse me?” she said.

“Just wanted to know your name.”

“I asked you first. Only fair.”

“I’m at a loss.”

“Start talking,” Kacy held up the hose and took aim. “Or things will get nasty.”

“You just want to get me wet,” he said.


“I’m sorry, but…”

Kacy squeezed the trigger to half force and sprayed the guy in his chest. His plaid shirt turned a darker blue in two seconds. Gertie raised her head, letting out a grouchy bark.

“Jesus, lady!” he said.

“Is your name Jesus?” Kacy dropped the watering hose aside.

“No. But close.”


“Give the woman a prize.”

“I should spray you again for being snarky.”

“You’d like that.”

Kacy stood up. “Maybe.”

“That your favorite word?”


“We’re at an impasse.”

“How so?”

“Two choices,” said Joshua. “Either I can walk away and never walk my dog down this street again.”

Kacy didn’t like that choice. A lump formed in her throat. She hoped she hadn’t pushed Joshua away before getting to know him. She tossed the water hose aside and held her hands out in mock surrender.

“Option number two?” Kacy said.

“You invite me in for a nightcap,” he said.

“Oh. Uh…” She was thrown off guard. This scenario hadn’t occurred to her when she daydreamed about this guy.

Sure, she wore a bikini to get his attention. Now she had it, Kacy wasn’t sure she wanted it. And what if he really did have a van parked around the corner?

What if he was just a nice guy?

“Look,” Joshua said. “That was a lame come on. I’m sorry.”

Kacy bent over, making sure he saw the length of her thigh, and picked up the watering hose again.

“What did I say about the word sorry?” she said.

“Not to say it? Sorry.”

She sprayed him again. Lower this time, at the stomach. Rivulets dripped from his shirt to his shorts. He laughed. A hearty, good natured chuckled that started from his diaphragm. Kacy clasped a hand over her mouth, stifling her reaction, and ended up joining him anyway.

She told him her name.

“Come on,” Kacy said. “I’ll hang your shirt on my laundry line. So it’ll dry, of course.”

Joshua tugged at his collar. “You sure about this?”

Kacy turned away and headed toward the front door. She glanced back over one shoulder, tucking her hair over an ear.

“Hurry up,” she said. “Before I change my mind.”


She hung the shirt on the line outside her patio door. Now the mystery man—Josh—sat on her sofa, bare-chested and barefoot. He had a finely toned body, not exactly chiseled, but well formed with flat abs and nicely shaped muscles.

A shame to cover that with plaid.

The pug had already fallen asleep on the floor, in front of Kacy’s TV, already snoring like a twenty pound freight train.

She brought in two shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey, the one from Gina’s bachelorette party a year ago. The bottle had sat unopened in Kacy’s cupboard the whole time.

He smelled clean, like he’d just gotten out of the shower and thrown on some aftershave.

“Is this how you normally pick up guys?” he said.

“Naw,” Kacy poured drinks. “Thought I’d try something new. See where it went.”

“Where is it going?”

She handed him one of the shots.

“I don’t know,” she said. “It’s kind of early for a nightcap.”


“Cheerio. Then.”

They clinked glasses and drank. She tilted her head back, watching him from the corner of her eyes. Kacy suspected he was doing the same.

She finished first. The alcohol burned all the way down. Kacy’s head twitched a little. He sipped his whiskey, and then tossed the rest down the hatch.

And coughed.

His entire body spasmed, head jerking, shoulders hunched.

“You okay, sweetie?” said Kacy.

“Wow,” he said. “Some poison.”

“You wanted a nightcap.” She filled his glass with another dose.

“To bad decision making.” Josh raised his glass.

“Bad decisions.” She clinked glasses with him and they drank again.

He tried to hide his reaction. He tilted his head, squeezing his eyes shut. It only had the effect of making him blush.

Kacy found it cute.

They sat on the couch, heads twitching. He coughed.

“Hate to say it,” Josh said. “But I’m buzzed.”

“Yeah,” said Kacy. “Now we’re properly inebr… inebria… fuck it.”

“Intox…” he said. “Intoxic…”

“Drunk and disorderly!”

“Hell yes!”

The pug raised her head. Her glassy eyes seemed to say, fuck you humans, keep it down, some of us are sleeping.

Josh’s smile was loose and playful. Kacy couldn’t help but look down, below his neckline. She wasn’t drunk yet. Just enough to feel tipsy.

That scared her and excited her at the same time. Like being in school again, uncertain of what to do, how to do it. Had it really been that long since her last fuck buddy?

“You okay?” said Josh.

“No,” said Kacy. “Yes.”

“Way to send mixed signals.”

“Sorry.” She took his glass away and set it on the coffee table.

“Do I need to spray you?” said Josh. “With a watering hose. Totally what I meant.”

She looked at him, checking her out. His eyes were soft and brown. Kind eyes. If a wee bit drunk and scattered at the moment.

Josh moved, shifting his weight away from her. As if to stand. Kacy placed a hand on his wrist. His skin was warm to the touch. Smooth. Even the hair was smooth.

And it just felt good to touch a man.

To control him. To make him stay when she didn’t want him to leave.

Kacy leaned forward. Eyes half closed.

He didn’t pull away. The smell of his skin and hair was crisp.

Closer. Lips nearly touching.

Josh cupped her elbows. A strong grasp, barely touching her. Pulling her in a tad closer.

She adjusted her hips.

He cleared his throat. And straightened his shoulders.

Kacy opened her eyes. Wondering why she was touching noses with him.

And then he kissed her.

Lips spreading lips. Tongues probing. A moan escaped. Sounded feminine. Must’ve come from her throat.

Kacy pulled away. Hands flat on his chest. Her breathing was ragged.

“No mixed signals there,” said Josh.

“Bad decisions and all,” she said.

“You sure about this?”

“You keep asking that.”

Kacy grabbed the back of his head by the hair. She pushed him down, into the couch.

And kissed him.

She straddled him, wiggling her hips against his bulging shorts. His mouth tasted hot, like a sultry day. Kacy wondered what the rest of him tasted like. She decided she wasn’t waiting too long to find out.

But she could take her time on the couch.


She stood up once, pressing a palm firmly into his chest to make sure he knew to stay, and closed the curtains. Now the late evening sun was tinged red and came in a hazy line through the curtain gaps. The dog still snored on the carpet, but Kacy found it easy to ignore that. She was lost in Josh’s scent and touch. The way he grabbed her hips and bucked against her every so often, strong fingers pressed into her skin.

Her body felt hot to the core, and she was fairly certain the air conditioning worked fine. Sweat beaded down her arms and legs. Underneath her, Josh burned up as well. His fingers wandered up her body, slow, methodical, touching her hips and waist in massaging circles.

Higher up still.

All the way up her spine. He massaged her shoulder blades, pulling her closer to his hot body. In a smooth motion, he untied her bikini top.

Kacy yanked it away, her breasts bared to him completely. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Too many nights she put herself to sleep with a battery powered toy, imagining a situation like this. Now half naked—no, near naked—in front of a man she’d been fantasizing about for some time. None of her daydreams involved a pug snoring five feet away, but beggars aren’t choosers. And Kacy wasn’t a beggar.

She grabbed a clump of his hair and leaned into his ear.

“Come upstairs,” she whispered. “If you want to see more.”

The playful ear to ear grin on his face was precious. Kacy tossed her bikini top at him, right over his eyes, and rolled off. Her inner thighs already burned from pinning him down for so long.

She turned away, but didn’t get very far.

Josh smacked her across the ass. He wrapped both hands around her waist, pinching in the delicate area, and pulled her back to his lap.

Kacy fell across him haphazardly.

He braced her neck and back in his strong arms.

“I’m a terrible listener,” he said. “What were you saying about upstairs?”

“At least you admit it,” Kacy said.


She smacked him on the cheek. Hard enough to make a sound. Not enough to leave a handprint. 

A love slap.

She stood, pushing off his chest and thigh. Unsteady on her feet. She didn’t turn around, trusting him to follow.

Josh put his hand in hers.

She led him up the stairs. Around the corner. Into the dark bedroom. Kacy told him to wait at the door, while she went to the night table and flicked on a light.

He didn’t wait very long.

The lamp light illuminated his face. The bedroom was mellow, dark enough to see. Josh wrapped an arm around her waist.

His other hand glided up her torso. Cupping her breast. Thumb playing with the nipple.

Kacy leaned into him, arms around his shoulders. He kissed. She probed his mouth with her tongue.

And pulled away. Out of his reach.

A wicked, wicked smile graced her lips. She grabbed his shorts. 

Unzipped, and pulled down both the cargo shorts and boxers.

His cock popped free. Aroused, but not fully erect yet.

Kacy wanted to change that.

She went down on her knees. His manhood was crowned by a close cropped patch of pubic hair.

Just the tip first. A taste. Josh throbbed between her lips.

Sliding down further, careful to not to scrape her teeth on him.

Down, down. Near the base. She breathed through her nose, eyes closed.

Kacy massaged his balls. Josh tasted wonderful. Far too long since she’d experienced a man like this.

He grabbed a fistful of her hair, tugging Kacy to her feet.

And then pushed her onto the bed.

Josh tore away her bikini bottom. The last shred of her modesty.

Kacy touched her clit. Her pussy was wet, dripping. She hadn’t realized it.

She hadn’t realized how much modesty had been tossed out the window to get this man into her bedroom.

Her legs were wide open for him. So were her arms.

The penetration was sweet and gentle. Her pussy stretched. And tightened around him.

Josh hit her G-spot. A flood of pent up frustration washed across her body.

The headboard rattled. The box spring squeaked. Josh kept pounding, lost in his own lust.

Words formed on her lips. Nonsense to her own ears. 



Kacy was helpless under him.

She wanted desperately for him to go faster. To blow his load inside her.

She wanted to pinch his nipples and make him turn onto his back. 

So she could fuck him as hard as she pleased.

For now, this time, she reveled in the loss of control in her own bedroom. Her own private space where she commanded her orgasms with electric toys.

This time, tonight, his hot and sweat covered body pressed against hers.

Josh rocked her senseless. His rod pumped her wet pussy, making squishing noises.

Legs wrapped around him, Kacy bucked against his thrusts.



More violent.

Her moans loud. Josh grunted.

Kacy slowed her motions down. An orgasm overtook her.

A gushing.

Painful, exquisite release. Starting in her pussy, ending in her toes and fingers. Kacy’s entire body glowed. She dug her nails into his skin.

But Josh pumped faster against her. She was near numb, and exploding with sensations. 

Hot. Cold. Wet pussy. Dry mouth.

He pulled out of her. His face scrunched, lost in his own orgasm. Josh’s cock exploded. Hot, sticky cum slicked across her abdomen. She wondered if he would ever stop coming.

When he did, he fell on top of her, and made out with her. Josh fell asleep soon after, in her arms, and Kacy allowed herself to join him.

Her last thoughts before drifting off were fantasies of how she’d be on top next time.

When she woke, a dog barked downstairs, and the front door closed shut. A note was on the bed side table, scrawled in sloppy handwriting.

See you tomorrow night? -J.

He left his phone number as well.

The day was going to be far too long.

Kacy hoped the next night would be even longer.


Thank you for reading! If you would like to purchase this story, you can find it at your favorite retailer. Or feel free to leave a tip with the PayPal button below.


Author: D. Anthony Brown

Writer of speculative fiction.

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